Tease Me Once: A Three Peaks Romantic Comedy (Romance with Altitude Book 1) by Jody A Kessler

Author:Jody A Kessler [Kessler, Jody A]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: contemporary romance, romantic comedy, Women's Fiction, new adult college romance, small town romance, office romance
Publisher: Jody A Kessler
Published: 2020-12-02T16:00:00+00:00

Twelve

“HE DOESN’T WANT ME,” Maleah said and eyed the remaining tequila in the bottle on the counter. “What is wrong with me? I’m a pariah, a swamp creature, a crone. Do I smell?”

“Yeah,” Brielle said. “You definitely smell.”

“I knew it! Ugh. I’m going to die alone. Every guy I’m interested in thinks I am a smelly, uninteresting weirdo who won’t stop talking about saving the planet with biodegradable plastics made from mushrooms.”

“You know, you currently smell like pity and whine. Whining kind of whine, not wine made from grapes. There’s nothing wrong with you. The men you like are strange. It’s not you.” Brielle hesitated and then added before Maleah had a chance to speak again, “Oh, you might smell like a construction site, but so do I. It could be worse.”

“Drywall mud and paint fumes? I opened the windows and the door. What else am I supposed to do? We live in the middle of the construction.” Maleah was trying to not let last night’s complete and utter failure at getting laid get her down, but rejection was a spiny and uncomfortable pill to swallow, and it was currently stuck in her gullet.

“Chill out. I’m kidding, and besides, Mr. Hot GC also smells like construction. He wouldn’t notice. He probably gets off on it,” Brielle said.

“Exactly! And he left. I couldn’t have been more willing to roll around on the floor with him buck naked, but he slunk away like I’m a leper or a hippo. A hippo with leprosy. That is what I am.” She had officially acted as slutty as she had ever attempted with both Holden and then, admittedly and shamefully, with Ben, and she’d failed—both times.

“I’d ride that.” Brielle grinned at her own stupid joke.

Maleah stared at her cousin and wasn’t amused. “Hippos don’t get leprosy. I’m saying there is something horribly wrong with me and I need you to help me figure out what it is. I’ve slept with three guys. One of them doesn’t even count, so it’s more like two. Am I a pariah? Be honest. You can tell me. I can take it.”

“What do you mean, one doesn’t count? If you bumped uglies with a man, it counts.” Brielle was now eyeballing Maleah much the same way Maleah had just been looking at her.

“I, uh. The story isn’t worth sharing. But, believe me, it wasn’t good. He, umm, he had a problem. All I’ll say is, he finished… quickly. Like, you know, he was done before we really started.”

“Ohhh…” She drew out the sound and then said, “The one-pump chump. Got it.” Brielle gagged then cleared her throat.

Maleah scrunched up her face in distaste at remembering the unfortunate experience with Desmond. At the exact same time, their gazes met, and they both said, “Ew.”

Maleah looked away. “He never called again, so maybe he was more embarrassed about it than I was. Nice guy, though. And smart.” She sighed. “It really is me.”

“It’s not you,” Brielle reiterated. “It’s them.”

“You say it’s not me, but I’m the common denominator.

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